Lottery BluePrint

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Lottery BluePrintThere I was, just waiting in line at the check-out counter, when all of a sudden two imposing figures dressed in black and wearing ski masks come running straight down the aisle. Of course, I figure that they had stolen goods from the store and were making a getaway, but unfortunately I wasn’t so lucky. As I leaned away from the line of customers to give the perpetrators more clearance to get by, as he’s passing me, the first man puts all his weight into a blow that lands in my stomach and knocks me to my knees. The second man then rushes over, stretches me out on the floor and picks me up by the ankles; the first man by the shoulders as they proceed to carry me out of the grocers. The next thing I know I’m being thrown into a nearby van as they immediately start with their interrogation.

“How did you do it?” the first man barks. I don’t play along; instead I act as if I don’t know what they’re talking about. “How did you make all that money?” he says.

“How did you win the lottery twice in a row?!” His voice is considerably less patient. I tell them both that I think they’ve got the wrong man. Then one of them reaches over to the front seat of the van and pulls out a newspaper. He asks me who the guy in the picture is, the guy on the front page of the paper. To that, I have no answer, knowing full well that it’s me. After a lengthy pause, I tell them that I don’t have any of the winnings on me. Then this man, infuriated, begins to slap me repeatedly with the paper.

“You didn’t answer my question,” he says bitterly after catching his breath. The second guy realizes his partner’s dismay and decides to chime in.

“Bill, take a load off, like our friend here. If he doesn’t have any money, then we don’t want any money, you know what I mean?” Then he turns to me. “You say you don’t have any money, and I’ll take your word for it – for now – but we both know that you know how to get it.” My jaw drops. “Listen, guy,” he continues, “you just won a second lottery in less than a month. Now I’m no mathematician, but I know that statistically speaking, you have a better chance of making it out of this van alive than you do winning the lotto once in your lifetime, let alone twice in a row. Now, I’m going to give you one last chance – tell us your secret, tell us how to win the lottery over and over again!”

Well, by this point, it could be said that I was starting to freak out; I can admit now that I was panicking. I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t even think of anything to say. The only thing running through my mind was my wife and my two kids, and all the things that I’d never get to see. And that’s when I passed out. Read more…

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